Hi, I'm A Psychopath

What is your Enneagram? I’ve read that many sociopaths are 8s, but you seem more peaceful than that, judging by your writings.

I’m working on a piece with a sociopathic character. Your blog helps in bundles.

Does anything ever make your heart beat faster and if so, what and why do you think that is? Have you ever been depressed?

• Anonymous: Do you think you have ever significantly hurt anyone's emotions?
• RtnlAgnt: Yes.

If you were my romantic partner what would be the safest way I could leave you?

I’m pretty harmless, partly cause I don’t like being tied to one woman, but say I had more serious possession or control issues. I would say you would have to make a logical argument. Logic is what we have instead of hearts, so appeal to it. Make a case for why we wouldn’t work, why I benefit from the breakup, and for fuck’s sake do not play any games and sure as hell do not let me find out you had cheated or lied, ever. Better to stay a little longer and smooth these things over than risk a fail over to pure rage. Trust me, its not pretty. Its like the Hulk, but more evil and plotting. Who knows, staying may even make me decide to end things cause I don’t like it. This also depends a lot on seriousness of the relationship and length. Its quite possible a simple “I don’t see this going anywhere” would work, maybe I’m thinking the same thing.

If this is a question about a real life event, rather than curiosity, I would like to hear more about the subject partner, as psychopaths come in many varieties and I am by far among the nicest (scratch that, I’m not nice, rather most civilized), and any outcomes.

• Question: Hi, im a psychopath too, and id just like to say your blogs how i wish i could explain my head to people in a nutshell - neon-stoner
• Answer:

  Thank you! And you should try writing some blog posts about what makes you tick, it can be very interesting. Use my work for reference if you need inspiration.

That’s the trick. I know and understand what people are feeling (in a pseudo-scientific way), but I can’t actually feel it.

(via good-knight)

• Question: What would you say to someone who was trying to find out if they were a psychopath or not? Do you think it would be worth going through the process, just to be labelled? - identity-illusion
• Answer:

  Depends on what you get out of it. In this case, what is the advantage of getting diagnosed? In my case, none. I get an “Official” label. That’s great. I care why? Answer: I don’t. I know what I am, and how to deal with it. I’m doing just fine on my own. But say, maybe you aren’t as awesome as me and you need help, or you aren’t sure of what is different about you. Then I would say diagnosis would have some benefit.

  I think the take away here is that you need to know how to handle yourself, normal of otherwise. If you don’t know how to handle yourself, or think you don’t know how, or just want some help, you should get diagnosed. If you can deal with yourself already, don’t.

need I say more?

-RationalAgent

A sister with BPD and NPD! How intriguing. Do you have any other siblings, and if so, are they blessed with psychological conditions?

(via good-knight)

• Question: If this question has already been asked, certainly disregard it - do you generally like/are you fascinated by people, or do you feel any resentment toward them? What is your attitude toward the human race as a whole? - twocentmessiah
• Answer:

  Interesting question. I would say I generally dislike people as a whole, often as individuals, but generally find them fascinating. Similar to those who take an interest in serial killers; they don’t like them, but they find them intriguing. I have been described as having an elegant distaste for the world, but the universe still amuses me. That is probably the most accurate description of myself I have heard to date.
  I find society ad individuals interesting to study. How people veiw the world, their imidiate environment, what is and is not noticed, what will cause a emotional reaction and what will not. On one hand it is almost a hobby, but it is imperative to my survival. Failure to blend in can have some very bad results.

I don’t know if you have mentioned this before.. but do you..? A. Have harmed animals in the past and enjoyed it. B. Still do harm animals and enjoy it. C. None of the above, it never was a thing with you. Thanks.

I find this an interesting topic, since it is one of the traits of a psychopath/serial killer that the general public is aware of AND is actually true. No, I have never enjoyed hurting animals, but then I’ve never intentionally hurt animals so I wouldn’t know. However, I have had several pets (dog, cat, rabbit, sister’s hampster) and have never wanted to injure or torment them. In fact the thought of it is rather revolting. It has always puzzled me as this does not fit with the standard psychopathic model. Keep in mind I take no issue with hunting for my own food, or any such practice that is nessessary for similar benifets to my existance, but the needless suffering of an animal I find distastful. I find how one treats animals is quite telling of one’s character, or prehapes its is that I see no gains but some loss in the needless tourture of animals. I take no issue with any farming practices, because I really don’t care, though to analysis it for the sake of science: everything is done to achive a reasonable, and benificial goal. Prehapes I find that any anger most psychopaths would focus on animals, I instead focus into my work, and manufacture a firey passion for anything I do.

Sadly I can offer you no answers, only my own theories, none of which even satisfy me. But maybe you have your own ideas?

• Question: Do you think it would be accurate to say that perhaps being a psychopath is like being born blind? You can be blind, but still function. You can't see, but most times blind people can still "see" light to some degree (there is a sense when somebody turns off the light, for instance), even though it's EXTREMELY weak. But they will never know what it is like to see. Obviously you "feel" desires. I'm trying to wrap my mind around this concept of "no feelings" (using the term "feeling" loosely). - Anonymous
• Answer:

  This is actually a very good analogy. Similar to a blind child, a psychopath works with what he is given and adapts. However, unlike blind people, we have no one to tell us what we can’t “see” (feel), so we assume what little we do feel is the “normal” range. We have to discover this on our own.

Hi. I tried to fit this into a tumblr question, but the character
count was simply ridiculous.

I have been pondering on my own possible personality disorder. The
most likely diagnosis, from my research, is either psychopathy or
narcissistic PD. From reading your blog, I can conclude that I am very
similar to you (I reflect the EXACT points you made in your bio
section), and also Dexter (without the murdering). However, I am stuck
on some inconsistencies within psychopathy. First is the idea of a
lack of regret/remorse. I usually do not feel regret over my actions,
except for those that caused a personal failure, which inhibited a
personal gain. For example, I would not regret manipulating or lying,
but I would regret getting fired from a paying job.

I’m actually confused on the empathy point too. When negative events
happen to others, I really don’t feel anything for them- even my mom’s
sudden, debilitating disease. But, I am hesitant to consider myself
directly causing something negative for somebody, especially if they
knew it was me causing it. For example, if someone I knew was hit by a
car, I don’t think I would have a significant emotional response.
However, if someone I knew was unjustifiably hurt, under my
observation, I would be compelled to help them. Also, I could never
harm someone I know, unless there was a justification. Is that
empathy, or simply self-preservation in the form of blending in with
society through respecting human life?

Another problem is the 2 factor system for psychopathy. In you, me,
and Dexter, I see almost solely Factor 1 alignments. However, that
would suggest that we are all actually Narcissists. While this is
potentially true, both you and Dexter seem fully affirmed in your
psychopathy. So, why, then, would you consider yourself a psychopath?

I do understand that I do not fully fit the NPD requirements, as I do
not by any means operate on social admiration or validation. However,
I think I would not meet the requirements for psychopathy, due to my
lack of ASPD.

For reference, I do not feel any sort of violent tendencies of any
kind, have never committed any *risky or unpractical crimes, and I do
live a fairly controlled life, with healthy goals.

I know that it is ridiculous to assume that anyone could come up with
a definite answer to this, based on an email, but do you have any
thoughts on my possible disorder, if there is one at all?

Sorry that took so long to read (or am I?).
But thanks for any help you can give.

-jkm130

Hi jkm130, nice to meet you.

Starting with the regret point, I would agree with you. There is a difference between regret (“I wish I had/not had”) vs remorse (“I am sorry that I did/did not”). A psychopath can feel regret, though in a very limited and more strict way (it is often interchanged with remorse), but not remorse or guilt.

Moving on to empathy. I this ends up becoming a real personal question that only you can answer. Do you share the pain of someone who is in pain? Can you really empathize with them? Not wanting to hurt people is usually an effect of this empathy, though it can come from other sources. I feel myself it was my upbringing that made me a stable, non-violent, and seemingly normal person.

Narcissist vs Psychopath. The key here in my opinion is the difference between what the two look like, namely that a psychopath is virtually invisible. I would also point to the following NPD symptoms:

• Trouble keeping healthy relationships
• Is easily hurt and rejected
• Tends to exaggerate their own, achievements, and talents
• Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
• Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation

These are not 100% true for myself or Dexter I imagine. I would also look at what characterizes the two. NPD focuses on the egocentric nature of the individual, while psychopathy focuses on the lack of empathy, shallow emotions, and being outwardly charming. To this point I would defiantly say I am in the psychopath camp, but to your point about only factor 1 traits, I will point out that I only score 28 on the PCL-R, which is a psychopath, or very strong psychopathic traits depending on the examiner and jurisdiction.

Haha, you do sound a lot like me from what you say, and a big part of all this is just knowing how you are different, how that effects your life, and what you need to do about it to get what you want from life. If you need a label, get it, if you need to ask a professional, find one and talk, if you’re like me and know what you are and what you have to do, go do it.